In yoga, we create a pause….we pause at the top of the inhale, and we pause at the bottom of the exhale…this pause can save your relationships.
Yoga, as my dear friend and teacher Max Strom says, is a breathing practice accompanied by movement. So, let’s talk about the breathing part of yoga, your reactiveness and your relationships.
If you’re like most people, you’re most reactive with the people closest to you.
So how can yoga help? Yoga teaches us to act versus react.
A regular practice of yoga and meditation creates space between your thoughts, grounds you and creates awareness that allows you to see the other person’s perspective. It teaches that there’s more power in controlling your reactivity then in your witty/cutting responses or impulsive actions.
I shared this with many of you a long time ago but I think it’s worth sharing again. It’s from Yogi Bhajan, Master of Kundalini Yoga:
Communicating for the Future
“Communication is very misunderstood by all human beings. When you are angry, when you are emotional, when you are hurt, when you are insecure, or when you are into an ego trip- that’s when you feel you must talk, and that’s why you mess up! Because when you talk it should be for the future, not the past or the present. Communication is the art of building heaven in the future.”
Being in the heat of an argument is tough! You want to fight back; you want to do something. Do nothing…take that deep breath first. Remember it will create space between your thoughts, ground you and create awareness that will allow you to see the other person’s perspective.
We practice exercises in Kundalini yoga where you hold your arms up for interminable amounts of time, remember? Just as in that argument, you’re being taken to your limits. Here is where the real transformation happens, you learn to breathe through the discomfort and find incredible strength within you. You find the part of you that chooses to be happy rather than be right all the time.
Today I choose peace, and I will choose it again tomorrow and the next day.
And, I know I will mess up, and I will blurt things out that I hadn’t intended but the more I practice, the stronger my resolve to be peace.
If you’d like to learn more about the tools and techniques that will transform your relationships, join me for my next online Kundalini Yoga Immersion, Heal Your Heart.